‎"Hey boy don't believe them, none of us are bullet proof."
"hey girl your skins more than a pin-up suit"
how something so true and right is finally wrote into a song.

2011 will be a souvenir soon. so is it a good one?

I would say so.

thoughts on the word "magic"

Why I don't like the Disney definition of "magic"? because it leaves life as a story of a shallow happy ending unicorn!
NO life is full of light and heavy, happy tears and painful tears. "Magic" does not explain why life can get so boring in times, or heartaches when a friend/family member dies. "Magic" does not point life to a target, or a justified end, just the mean leading to other things($$ etc.). "Magic", like the power Rapunzel obtains, can not free her. "Magic", fades away for Cinderella. . No, "Magic" is pointless dreaming, hoping someone will come to save you, without effort of action. And I say, until a consistent effort is made, a dream is still a day-dream. One cannot gain experience nor life from it.

comment on the newest Doctor Who Christmas Special

This episode is not as epic as I thought it would be, but it is very sweet, perfect for a family gathering (finally for once). Season 6 has been quite dark, and this special makes up for the sad moments.
I love the idea that the Doctor come and visit a family on Christmas and give a gift of unexpected. He would bring something amazing, it just the doctor being the doctor, if he wants to give you the best, he won't settle on only a toy or a doll, iPod etc., he brings you time you cannot forget, and that's what he did. Problem is, he loves adventures and dangerous things like to follow him. Happily everything works out in the end. (sorry went on youtube for "research" for too long, and ran out of time.)

‘Don’t Pray Together’ and Other Bad Dating Advice for Christians

This is a good article. talks about what's the most important thing in dating for Christians. Here's an insert from it:
"As the gospel penetrates and changes our hearts, we are enabled to love others because of how God has loved us in Christ. The faith implanted in our hearts by God assures us and deepens our convictions that we have in Christ everything we could ever need or want for our holiness and happiness. The overflow of a faith-filled heart is a radically other-centered love that seeks to lead the other person to Christ and not to themselves."
‘Don’t Pray Together’ and Other Bad Dating Advice for Christians

done with fall semester. Best in this semester is seeing what Elements have revolved to become. I'm satisfy with all the work I've done and all the hours I've studied for. Everything have paid off. The departure of some important figure in Calvary church reminds me of what this college experience must come down to, farewell. In a way I come to learn it is the best to embrace this yet-to-come sadness, as thou it is sad, it is a prove that you have cared for it a great deal. The happier now, the sadder will it be, however that is fine for me. Often time I am afraid of hurt, but forget everything is a balance of bright and sadness. hopeless is counter side of hope, sadness is of happiness. When the two extremes meet together, it is what I called "joy". Joy is the ability to find relief of the heaviness of life yet still be involve. I have lots of Joy from this semester. Though its been a rough time for center county, I believe we have collectively learn to look deeper, and be more compassionate, and aware of the horror in this world. We used to be self absorb, thinking we are a free town, free to do anything for fun, now we know that was a bubble world and we should not live in there any more. May we be blessed so we can bless more people.

DW quotes

"A door, once opened, may be stepped through in either direction."

"One may tolerate a world of demons for the sake of an angel. "

-- Reinette Poisson, Girl in the fireplace

The Doctor: Everything's got to end sometime. Otherwise nothing would ever get started.

How did I become transparent?

Hung out with my old roommate today. Well, hung out then homework, we are in the same major. During our conversation, I mentioned I was involved with this Bible Study. That was when she realized I'm a Christian. I was about to drop on the floor. She said "I don't do stuff like a Christian"... fail on my part, and its not just an epic fail, its more like a tragic fail. Seriously, my faith didn't come across for rooming and going to the same exact class for 10 months? I'm very wrong in my put my words in my mouth. I told her I wake up for church every Sunday. But gezz, how did I become transparent in my faith?

Well, I'm glad we had that talk. I'm glad she knows now. She wasn't even surprised or disgusted when she found out, why in the world I would think that?

Once again our silly little Christian heads don't think like outsiders. They often are a lot more generous to friends than lectures.

Christmas wish list.

is that time of the year again, and I feel more festive than I have ever about Christmas, so I'm gonna write a Christmas wish list. But the nature of wish list is not for getting real presents, it to come up with another list of wishful thinking! why not just goof off like I always do?

1. an army of squirrels programmed to live inside Pokemon balls when I don't want them

2. armor suit for my army of penguins last year

3. an army of birds, cz bird + squirrel + penguin = peace. (its my formula of peace, love, laugh.)(how do you come up with this madness?)(hm, its 2012, hippies are taken over by hipsters, and there must be another saying for hipster-ness)

4. a sonic wand to control the squirrel fighting club that I meant to start in my dream (yip, Harry Potter and Doctor Who)

5. a big blue crate for squirrel fighting.

6. food. for. me.

7. a live turkey as law reinforcement for my imaginary farm club chaos.

8. loads of phish food for my penguins and birds

9. my squirrels eat bagels and muffins. (that's why they are so fat) so upon Christmas I shall ask my imaginary (aka. fake, non-existing) friend, santa, for loads of bagels and muffins but no cream cheese. (santa is not really my friend, he is only an associate of some evil commercial cooperate )

10. epic movie soundtracks to listen to during my imaginary squirrel fight.

11. a wrench, a fleshy light, a real honest screwdriver, and a roll of duct tape. In case I get trap in my inception.

12. More Christmas music! I feel festive this year.

13. A stack of Broadway show tune albums. If it's not a stack don't even try to offer it to me. and I won't take this present from you unless its been delivered by Glinda the good witch, or Mary Poppins.

14. A turkey that is meant for food consumption so that my family can eat it.

15. I think this is enough for now.

the fact is fiction

"I want to believe you, I want to believe, but the fact is fiction." - Selling the news by Switchfoot.

Is that true in your live? Finding that what you said or believe is just another "opinion"? That opinion is a grey area, it is bound to be neither correct or wrong. An philosopher named Jacques Derrida proposed "Deconstruction"- a philosophy points out the problem of free speech democracy: There is no absolute meaning since all opinions are meaningful.

I don't oppose opinions, because diversity in voice makes a society whole. I am angered by how pathetic people think about African development. Let me start with some background of African history.

Pre-colonial Africa was a developed place, the infrastructure of this content was construct in units of villages. They had school for a selected group of children, a very developed trading system, rich culture with solid arhitecture, religion, market system, and way of life etc. Sure that they had no good medication to fix malaria and high rate in children death, and domestic violence was a problem, not to mention many of the negative and positive aspect of village life, but all in all, they had a developed life for centuries, one that is different than Western society.

In 19th century Europeans went to explore Africa. Found that it is a continent with rich resources, they believed it is good to give a helping hand to shake things up. The church was with them, many missionaries went over there to spread Christianity and brought education, basic western medical knowledge that breaks the miserable in children death. It also have many negative impact, maybe horrible too much damage in the traditional art, culture, religion, harmony among tribes, economic development, trading system.

Now I will tell you what I think. It is just my opinion, it may mean nothing to anyone, but I still need to say it because what I saw the Western mind did to African angers me everyday I go to my contemporary African history class.

The western economist went to develop Africa because they wanted the resources there, they want to bring it back to Europe and benefit THEM, not the Africans. Here is my question: Most people can see through this and say "that is selfish of the Europeans". If the economist was a part of their political leaders, which the church has strong influence in, why didn't the priest point out that the selfishness in this development goal is simply Anti-Christ?

That is my first question. No one living can answer this question, and the damage is done.

So now we see that Africa countries are not in peace with themselves. So many of them (with the exception of 2 Sub-Saharan Countries) are poor and eternally destruct. We have all that logistic to read. I found that numbers are better than report in this area because the reports by UN, NEPAD and such are written in the perspective of Western minds, not local African people.

In class, we talk about how important it is to address and fix the problems caused by colonial and post colonial political development. We all try to give opinions about why to fix this and that, how rulers of African countries should put money in this, encourage education, factories and agricultural expense etc. As a Christian, I know these opinions can be helpful but not enough. Even we become experts in educations and social development it still won't be enough. This is because none of us can predict what WILL happen in the process of correction. As we make mistakes, thousands of lives in Africa will be ruin. Our knowledge is not enough, if it was Africa might have been better than the situation it is in now. Our opinions are meaningful in our education, but meaningless in helping an African teenager in Rwanda whose family is wiped out during the genocide in 1990's. Our efforts in this class suddenly became so insignificant in comparison.

Where is my musical playlist?

will be continued...

OFF

There is a switch. A secret one, that I don't even know where it's at. (like how the Doctor doesn't know he has an answer phone in his Tradis. lol) But when that switch gets turn on, my day goes bad.

Okay, maybe I do know what the switch is. It's property menu (autoCad style):

Name: stress

Layer: emotion

X-Length: 0.0000

Y-Length: 0.0000

Z-Lenght: 2345623.00000000 (depth)

.

.

.

Stress goes long miles in me. When I'm stress, I get impatient, physically sick, angry easily.

The orgin of stress, most of the time, is frustration and lack of preparation. I don't get stress when I've rehearsed for months, I don't get stress when I studied, but I feel very stressed when I do homework. and study for quizzes.

It is something beyond my comprehension for this moment, that I feel stress for a 20 minute quiz but not a 75 minute long test. This is not just for one class, it's for many classes in all my schooling years. ugh. I can even draw a table to describe my week by stress level. Yes, tuesday have the least class for me and is my most stressful day. Always. It is ridiculous. How am I to live in peace if I'm stressed all the time?

Next week is the last week of classes huh? Well the stress level just went up another 5 miles in me.

I need encouragement, and reinforcement that I am capable and already made perfect. My effort does not make at all a difference in the big picture. Seriously, THE BIG PICTURE of heaven on earth.

tonight's playlist

X & Y by Coldplay

Here in your presence by New Life Worship

This is the air I breathe cover, from M. Smith

Thrive by Switchfoot