What now? perspective from an African history student

Anything fall so hard needs to re-bounce.

We learned about the hopeless days of Atlantic slave trade, and colonialism. Now we move on, we see some hope for Africa in Nationalism.

I say hope because at last some African realize they were oppress for too long, and decide its time for Africans running Africa. With the higher education they got from Europe or US, they have a chance. Our study focus on the example of Kwame Nkrumah, the first president of Ghana.

If you know his contribution and policies, you will know that he is a dictator, did many horrible awful things yet also good, effective things to benefits Ghanians.

I'm just trying to say, why we always get caught in the middle of good and bad? We try to fix, and make all things completely good, but we always fail.

The state Africa is in is better, but still in great debt with the developed world. Is it alright for the poor to owe to the rich? I don't think its bad for the poor to owe the rich, but the debt Africans own is partly Europeans fault. (Part of Africa's independence treaty is to have debt to the Europeans)(yes, footnote, which i need to work on)

Next, Africa is still dependent on Europe. Super long, messy business. So messy that my words just fail to do "justice" to it. Basically that by cutting all ties with Europe, Africa will not survive in many ways. But by keeping the tie, will Africa learn to develop on its own until it can provide for its need? hah, that is something little me can't speak of. Not with the too little I know.

JUBILEE TOMORROW!!!!!!

enough said.

my friend said I make Jubilee sound like a man I have a crush on.

I was so young, I had no idea... II

Those 14 years in Hong Kong...

My friend went to visit HK last summer. She took some pictures, one is at the crosswalk that I used to pass by everyday to school/dance/church/home for 14 years of my life. To her, its the beautiful sunset that catches her eyes; to me, its a long lost memory.

What I meant by long lost memory is that something I can't describe with a definite event, it short of is a memory from doing it as a routine. One can't appreciate such a place until one left the place. To me, that crossover where she took the picture at is a passage between 2 world: the comfy one and the one I most go to in order to be valued as a member of society. The former, is homeward bound, the one I've left behind the day I flow to America. The later, is what I adopt everyday since 5 years ago and call it my mobile home.

A homeward bound has become an idea for me, unpractical and rational, detach from my desire, emotion, or plans or what not. On the other hand, it's nothing wrong with a mobile home, I enjoy it. My meaningful friends, majority of my growth, majority of my life is defined by this "mobile home" I live on.

One day I will settle in my heavenly homeward bound, but until then, I have no intention to return there.

The memory once had is lost and can't be re-lived, so it can't define me as who I am today, especially the significant events in my life didn't happen there. I have to admit if one day my knowledge of my old life haunts me, I will use my memories for good cause. But until then, I do not know what to do with them except stash 'em in a mental box, collecting dust.

I was so young, I had no idea...

Three years ago I was a high school senior. I had a time of my life that year, dare to say I am blessed with good memories (I know not everyone enjoyed high school and/or their senior year). Enjoyed math class and theater club the most (wow, I'm such a nerd). Now that a friend of mine who was a (little) sophomore is a senior in high school, collecting all the last bit of good memories she could while she still have the chance, she reminds me of me 3 years ago.

Do I dare to go back to re-live those precious happy moments? No, even I no longer participate in theater work and miss it with all my heart. Not going back, can't go back, not after all the things I've gone through, and the lessons learn from the hardships and celebrations. No, not after all these. I can't reverse back to that girl who was still searching for purpose of life, for I have found it, and no matter how hard it is to hold on, I can't give it up.

My dream, no, God's dream for me, is what I want the most.

Why Should You Go To Jubilee 2012

I'm super excited for it. Maybe you need a reason to go, so I figure this should do it, If God isw willing.

Jubilee excitement--it's the OMG event in my life (maybe yours too), each time I went I got out with at least 1 major personal theme, and these themes always mark how I’m growing in Christ. Let me share with you a small summary of how Jubilee integrate in my loving Christ every day since I participate in the event.

This is by for the most fruitful faith journey I've gone on since 2 years ago, my first Jubilee. Back then I was so confused with who I was, where could I go. Now I found love, hope, Christ, mission, calling, purpose, promises. I explored what is my calling in life, and found it, because somebody in my profession encouraged me to pursue God's plan in my study and my future. From then, the blessings ripples out of Jubilee conference are more than I can remember. My life would seriously have not been that same without it. For one, I would’ve not stick with engineering and pick up African history. Everytime I go to Jubilee I see God is knitting with life, ensuring his love and power is stronger than the tension of life, and that, is enough of a reason to go to Jubilee.

I try to update my blog as often as possible.

I try to update things that are not mundane, but always feel so when writing about stuff.

But I'm passionate about living by the truth spoken by God, and his good news for us.

Everytime I listen and take notes in my African study class, I see the opposite of good news being taught. That angers me. Alot. I hate inflicting pain in the name of helping; I hate how the Church was heavily involved in the Atlantic slave trade; I hate how the European Government, which foundation based on Christianity, is responsible for its colonization system in Africa, leaving Africa cripple from development. (China as a country as a must better chance to succeed in development than a continent. You tell me is there something wrong.)

With that said, I'm making a goal to update my progress in that specific class (Modern African History) and my thoughts on it. I'm not good with words and my opinion is strong, so I know I will write something incorrect. If it happens, correct me.

In today's class, (Feb 7th, 2012) we spend our time discussing Colonialism In Africa. If you think slave trade is horrible, colonialism is as horrible, because colonialism completely deconstruct any hope for Africans to recover from the slave trade.

Most importantly, when Europe countries start their "Scramble of Africa", they did not see worth in any of Africa's original economy, social, political, religions, and cultural structure! As colonism take root in Africa, in came the European business and government, they did not seriously considered the human rights of Africans, and that is their major mistake. Through Colonism, these business introduce the money economy, then encourage an import-export economy for the Africans. Both system focus on the profit Europeans, not to equip African with self-sustaining knowledge/technology.

The part that troubles me is how much evangelism is used in this process. Through it, Europeans could convince people they are doing good while they rob African's resources. English evangelists established schooled to teach children, forcing them all to learn the Bible in the name of learning English. I would not argue that is meant for a good cost, but the evangelists did a lot more than that. This quote by the famous 1st Kenya president speaks it all,

"When the Missionaries arrived, the Africans had the Land and the Missionaries had the Bible. They taught us how to pray with our eyes closed. When we opened them, they had the land and we had the Bible" - Jomo Kenyatta

Unfortunately that this is not uncommon in the history of African countries. There are many reasons an African descent can use to argue Christianity is the worst thing known to them. My professor believes it is a tool to occupy people minds in spiritual lives, so that they will forget the unjustice they live in.

I sympathize his reason, but knowing this reality angers me. My professor truly sees that Christianity in Africa today is not a vocational practice, and I agree with him, but he blames this religion (introduced by the colonists and missionaries) for the mess in Africa today is not what I can take. Yes, fault on colonists, whom likely to be Christians, and the missionaries, whom enforced the injustice of colonialism in Africa, but no, THESE are not Christ intention for Christianity.

I hate the fact that the class, full of international students and university students, should learn this in a classroom.

I hate it, but I want to see redemption from the mess, which can't be done without love.

How do I be bold in the class while engage an academic study in the classroom? How do I interact with my professor with the 10 classes remaining (it's once a week), and even outside of class? How should I honor Christ but not secure the impression Christians are stubborn brain-washed worshipers?

The answers are still a mystery to me, but I'm eager to see something different than this. Still praying, but just myself will not be enough, so if you read this, please say a prayer for my class and my professor.

Happiness

To be happy. it's an art, it's a psychological sanctification that is beyond science explanation. When someone is happy, the whole world seems bright no matter how unpleasant the situation is.

Is it easy to be happy? It is but it isn't.

I'm afraid the more I ask the more I will not find the answer. Because this is only the beginning of the many questions following it.

Finding happiness, is good, but when I find myself looking to be happy, I feel the least from happiness.

I find the most satisfying happiness when I am not looking for it. Things will make me happy, and I don't need to go look for it.

So is it easy to be happy? It is, we just focus too much in looking it.