the parting (2)

our friendship began when we met in elements. And now you are leaving to find your home, so here we are parting our worlds into yours and mine. Nothing is wrong with that, you are a wonderful person in my eyes. Its just, I'm always amaze at how subjective the definition for "home" is. 

divide the stuff in life into parts, is an act of separating, aka parting (things).

Parting yesterday and today (or the future) with a warm hand shake, I was anxious but now I am thankful. 

Parting yesterday and today with a warm hug, I was busy but now I am generous. (Well, at least for couple hours. )

Parting yesterday and today with a warm fair well, I was young but now I have grown. 

Onwards. I know one day our ideas of home will collide, where you and I drink lemonade under one roof. 

Don't thank me for the hardwork I poured in for this friendship, because you donate more patients than I donate my hardwork. It's you I need to thank for. 

At the parting, we wrap up this relationship, and begin a different one tomorrow. 

the wrapping

soon 3rd year of Penn State will be over too, and I ponder the seniors who are leaving us. Stacy put it in the real way: "you guys warm your way into our hearts, and then tear it apart when you leave." It's not like any of us can help it, because college isn't meant for more than 6 years (that's including grad school), but if I can choose, I wish departure for our beloved is not the end of our relationships. 

Those relationships don't have to happen in State College. I could've gone to another school. I would be a whole different person then. But why I chose Happy Valley in the first place, was because the unity in the university. Out of all the schools visited in my senior year, all the other school came to me as another place to spend 4 years in, but Penn State, you give your students a pride to belong to, to give each other a common ground. Here, I felt it was a place that would shape me in 4 years, not a pit stop to come and go. 

So, there is no accident for us to meet, to be friends, and to leave. Memories we made together are not the ashes of time, they are vivid music to my ears. If I can, I would dance to it. 

Snow in April

makes me want to punch some animals. I'm still mad about the snow we got this morning. Just why do we get snow in April? that should be against life form. Next time it snow in spring, lets do something ridiculous.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3MN-wwfwBA0&feature=related

Too fast?

3rd year in this prestigious academic program, it is quite a challenge to keep my world speed align with the speed of our professors. It's a hurricane we must not go under. If we do, well, we depend our groupmates to pull us back on board. If we go under together, we work it out together. Nothing is a miracle, just hard work, wisdom, and perseverance. There have been too many #AEproblem jokes, too many days without enough sleep, too much studying to do, too little time, too anxious about grades, and too many deadlines to meet. In a life spinning at that speed, most of my time is spend on AE, retreat (to retrieve my sanity), and ministry with Elements. Truely there is only too little time left after that (not even for my beloved dance).

Most of the time it feels like school dominates the speed I'm living in. It flies so fast I have to ride on race cars to keep up with life, hence, the world around me seems slower. Someday I pitty all the things I've missed, but fortunately sympathy is an emotion I too rarely experienced, so it don't seem too bad.

I'm convince that you can't slow me down. I'd rather go so fast that no one can catch up to me then slow down. Day by day I run on an accelerating speed, since the day I was born. You may not understand it, because you weren't born in Asia. If you were, you understand what I mean by "since birth". Competition with other children in school, to thrive to be "the best", to be compared with others, I was born in the pressure led me to motivate myself. Now in college, studying in a field where information is updated every 3 years; our curriculum changes every semester. Looking at my future, I found life goals I must strive to meet, weather with others or alone (though hopefully not alone). It seems that nothing can slow me down. If you try to I will abandon you.

Yes, I realize accelerating speed is a good thing, and a very bad thing. I realize my life goes beyond my speed, and the world does not revolve around my speed. For many people, they don't care if everything is going in a goldfish speed (think of the speed a goldfish goes), that is how they learn, how they work. And if you and I strike up a conversation, I am willing to slow down for one or two hours.

Seems strange to live in slower speed, but its my fault for not having "slow" written in my biological program.

If I were to direct a student Ballet club show...

I'm sitting on this idea for a while. The theme for this show is to condense a classical ballet act into a less than 5 minutes song (anything but classical is preferred)

here is some of the pieces I'm dying to find time to choreograph:

A Giselle act 2 themed piece using Cemeteries of London

Midsummer Night's dream into Clockwork (by Sleeping at Last)

Romeo and Juliet into It Will Rain (by Bruno Mars)

The inspiration is due to the lack of interest in technical ballet among the student body. They've heard of Swan Lake and such, but sitting in the theatre to see a 2 hour long ballet can be too much for general college students, so why not do a book club review for ballet, in dance, to educate our dear friends in college what ballerinas love.

But again.... I'm so tied up with other things in life. Maybe partnering with friends. If there are interested for this, let me know.

before I say anything, one thing you must know: Sleeping At Last is a gorgeous one-man band. Love the sound of all their songs.

Pre-Easter is a time of darkness, marking the secrets hidden in the human soul. In my life and the pharisees'. Every year it becomes so overpowering that it seems like the dark can devour the world. My words say I believe in hope, but my strength gave in.

Then Easter comes. They say "it's always the darkest before dawn", how true is that. To say "hold on"
is nothing compare to what admitting my smallness can do. And the mystical power of prayer, not something I can understand but it works! Sometimes reasoning is not necessary. Once again I'm humbled by Jesus love. Easter is a great display for his love. No doubt about his power to rise from the dead, but good does omni-power do without his love.

This sunday, is another day made new because of this love. With this love comes grace, and everything else.

Easter monster

It's that time of the year. When spring comes and nature is singing in joyful song, I come down with depression. Thinking about school, relationships for the past year, next year, stuff, and more other stuff..... Pre-Easter is my personal demon, it haunts me every year and make me sad, and above all, slacking with God.

I won't put it pass myself and unseen spiritual forces, but its annoying that every year I feel worse of life around this time. To fight this mess myself is not working, one. I don't even know what is it that I'm sad about, two. For the later, partly its anxiety and stress from school. The stress in studying is unreasonably high for me in this month. Trying to fight for survival, the chance always look brim. Eventhough it's 100% survival rate.

bitterness

often comes from this question: "why is your life easier/better/funnier/happier/less trouble-some/etc. than mine?"

I wish I'm not asking this question everyday, every hour, but I am. Too many of my classmates agrees that our major curriculum is written by a bunch of student murderers, (or at least torturer).