‎"Hey boy don't believe them, none of us are bullet proof."
"hey girl your skins more than a pin-up suit"
how something so true and right is finally wrote into a song.

2011 will be a souvenir soon. so is it a good one?

I would say so.

thoughts on the word "magic"

Why I don't like the Disney definition of "magic"? because it leaves life as a story of a shallow happy ending unicorn!
NO life is full of light and heavy, happy tears and painful tears. "Magic" does not explain why life can get so boring in times, or heartaches when a friend/family member dies. "Magic" does not point life to a target, or a justified end, just the mean leading to other things($$ etc.). "Magic", like the power Rapunzel obtains, can not free her. "Magic", fades away for Cinderella. . No, "Magic" is pointless dreaming, hoping someone will come to save you, without effort of action. And I say, until a consistent effort is made, a dream is still a day-dream. One cannot gain experience nor life from it.

comment on the newest Doctor Who Christmas Special

This episode is not as epic as I thought it would be, but it is very sweet, perfect for a family gathering (finally for once). Season 6 has been quite dark, and this special makes up for the sad moments.
I love the idea that the Doctor come and visit a family on Christmas and give a gift of unexpected. He would bring something amazing, it just the doctor being the doctor, if he wants to give you the best, he won't settle on only a toy or a doll, iPod etc., he brings you time you cannot forget, and that's what he did. Problem is, he loves adventures and dangerous things like to follow him. Happily everything works out in the end. (sorry went on youtube for "research" for too long, and ran out of time.)

‘Don’t Pray Together’ and Other Bad Dating Advice for Christians

This is a good article. talks about what's the most important thing in dating for Christians. Here's an insert from it:
"As the gospel penetrates and changes our hearts, we are enabled to love others because of how God has loved us in Christ. The faith implanted in our hearts by God assures us and deepens our convictions that we have in Christ everything we could ever need or want for our holiness and happiness. The overflow of a faith-filled heart is a radically other-centered love that seeks to lead the other person to Christ and not to themselves."
‘Don’t Pray Together’ and Other Bad Dating Advice for Christians

done with fall semester. Best in this semester is seeing what Elements have revolved to become. I'm satisfy with all the work I've done and all the hours I've studied for. Everything have paid off. The departure of some important figure in Calvary church reminds me of what this college experience must come down to, farewell. In a way I come to learn it is the best to embrace this yet-to-come sadness, as thou it is sad, it is a prove that you have cared for it a great deal. The happier now, the sadder will it be, however that is fine for me. Often time I am afraid of hurt, but forget everything is a balance of bright and sadness. hopeless is counter side of hope, sadness is of happiness. When the two extremes meet together, it is what I called "joy". Joy is the ability to find relief of the heaviness of life yet still be involve. I have lots of Joy from this semester. Though its been a rough time for center county, I believe we have collectively learn to look deeper, and be more compassionate, and aware of the horror in this world. We used to be self absorb, thinking we are a free town, free to do anything for fun, now we know that was a bubble world and we should not live in there any more. May we be blessed so we can bless more people.

DW quotes

"A door, once opened, may be stepped through in either direction."

"One may tolerate a world of demons for the sake of an angel. "

-- Reinette Poisson, Girl in the fireplace

The Doctor: Everything's got to end sometime. Otherwise nothing would ever get started.

How did I become transparent?

Hung out with my old roommate today. Well, hung out then homework, we are in the same major. During our conversation, I mentioned I was involved with this Bible Study. That was when she realized I'm a Christian. I was about to drop on the floor. She said "I don't do stuff like a Christian"... fail on my part, and its not just an epic fail, its more like a tragic fail. Seriously, my faith didn't come across for rooming and going to the same exact class for 10 months? I'm very wrong in my put my words in my mouth. I told her I wake up for church every Sunday. But gezz, how did I become transparent in my faith?

Well, I'm glad we had that talk. I'm glad she knows now. She wasn't even surprised or disgusted when she found out, why in the world I would think that?

Once again our silly little Christian heads don't think like outsiders. They often are a lot more generous to friends than lectures.

Christmas wish list.

is that time of the year again, and I feel more festive than I have ever about Christmas, so I'm gonna write a Christmas wish list. But the nature of wish list is not for getting real presents, it to come up with another list of wishful thinking! why not just goof off like I always do?

1. an army of squirrels programmed to live inside Pokemon balls when I don't want them

2. armor suit for my army of penguins last year

3. an army of birds, cz bird + squirrel + penguin = peace. (its my formula of peace, love, laugh.)(how do you come up with this madness?)(hm, its 2012, hippies are taken over by hipsters, and there must be another saying for hipster-ness)

4. a sonic wand to control the squirrel fighting club that I meant to start in my dream (yip, Harry Potter and Doctor Who)

5. a big blue crate for squirrel fighting.

6. food. for. me.

7. a live turkey as law reinforcement for my imaginary farm club chaos.

8. loads of phish food for my penguins and birds

9. my squirrels eat bagels and muffins. (that's why they are so fat) so upon Christmas I shall ask my imaginary (aka. fake, non-existing) friend, santa, for loads of bagels and muffins but no cream cheese. (santa is not really my friend, he is only an associate of some evil commercial cooperate )

10. epic movie soundtracks to listen to during my imaginary squirrel fight.

11. a wrench, a fleshy light, a real honest screwdriver, and a roll of duct tape. In case I get trap in my inception.

12. More Christmas music! I feel festive this year.

13. A stack of Broadway show tune albums. If it's not a stack don't even try to offer it to me. and I won't take this present from you unless its been delivered by Glinda the good witch, or Mary Poppins.

14. A turkey that is meant for food consumption so that my family can eat it.

15. I think this is enough for now.

the fact is fiction

"I want to believe you, I want to believe, but the fact is fiction." - Selling the news by Switchfoot.

Is that true in your live? Finding that what you said or believe is just another "opinion"? That opinion is a grey area, it is bound to be neither correct or wrong. An philosopher named Jacques Derrida proposed "Deconstruction"- a philosophy points out the problem of free speech democracy: There is no absolute meaning since all opinions are meaningful.

I don't oppose opinions, because diversity in voice makes a society whole. I am angered by how pathetic people think about African development. Let me start with some background of African history.

Pre-colonial Africa was a developed place, the infrastructure of this content was construct in units of villages. They had school for a selected group of children, a very developed trading system, rich culture with solid arhitecture, religion, market system, and way of life etc. Sure that they had no good medication to fix malaria and high rate in children death, and domestic violence was a problem, not to mention many of the negative and positive aspect of village life, but all in all, they had a developed life for centuries, one that is different than Western society.

In 19th century Europeans went to explore Africa. Found that it is a continent with rich resources, they believed it is good to give a helping hand to shake things up. The church was with them, many missionaries went over there to spread Christianity and brought education, basic western medical knowledge that breaks the miserable in children death. It also have many negative impact, maybe horrible too much damage in the traditional art, culture, religion, harmony among tribes, economic development, trading system.

Now I will tell you what I think. It is just my opinion, it may mean nothing to anyone, but I still need to say it because what I saw the Western mind did to African angers me everyday I go to my contemporary African history class.

The western economist went to develop Africa because they wanted the resources there, they want to bring it back to Europe and benefit THEM, not the Africans. Here is my question: Most people can see through this and say "that is selfish of the Europeans". If the economist was a part of their political leaders, which the church has strong influence in, why didn't the priest point out that the selfishness in this development goal is simply Anti-Christ?

That is my first question. No one living can answer this question, and the damage is done.

So now we see that Africa countries are not in peace with themselves. So many of them (with the exception of 2 Sub-Saharan Countries) are poor and eternally destruct. We have all that logistic to read. I found that numbers are better than report in this area because the reports by UN, NEPAD and such are written in the perspective of Western minds, not local African people.

In class, we talk about how important it is to address and fix the problems caused by colonial and post colonial political development. We all try to give opinions about why to fix this and that, how rulers of African countries should put money in this, encourage education, factories and agricultural expense etc. As a Christian, I know these opinions can be helpful but not enough. Even we become experts in educations and social development it still won't be enough. This is because none of us can predict what WILL happen in the process of correction. As we make mistakes, thousands of lives in Africa will be ruin. Our knowledge is not enough, if it was Africa might have been better than the situation it is in now. Our opinions are meaningful in our education, but meaningless in helping an African teenager in Rwanda whose family is wiped out during the genocide in 1990's. Our efforts in this class suddenly became so insignificant in comparison.

Where is my musical playlist?

will be continued...

OFF

There is a switch. A secret one, that I don't even know where it's at. (like how the Doctor doesn't know he has an answer phone in his Tradis. lol) But when that switch gets turn on, my day goes bad.

Okay, maybe I do know what the switch is. It's property menu (autoCad style):

Name: stress

Layer: emotion

X-Length: 0.0000

Y-Length: 0.0000

Z-Lenght: 2345623.00000000 (depth)

.

.

.

Stress goes long miles in me. When I'm stress, I get impatient, physically sick, angry easily.

The orgin of stress, most of the time, is frustration and lack of preparation. I don't get stress when I've rehearsed for months, I don't get stress when I studied, but I feel very stressed when I do homework. and study for quizzes.

It is something beyond my comprehension for this moment, that I feel stress for a 20 minute quiz but not a 75 minute long test. This is not just for one class, it's for many classes in all my schooling years. ugh. I can even draw a table to describe my week by stress level. Yes, tuesday have the least class for me and is my most stressful day. Always. It is ridiculous. How am I to live in peace if I'm stressed all the time?

Next week is the last week of classes huh? Well the stress level just went up another 5 miles in me.

I need encouragement, and reinforcement that I am capable and already made perfect. My effort does not make at all a difference in the big picture. Seriously, THE BIG PICTURE of heaven on earth.

tonight's playlist

X & Y by Coldplay

Here in your presence by New Life Worship

This is the air I breathe cover, from M. Smith

Thrive by Switchfoot

Reminder for living life wholly and holy

Upset is not just sad, it is anger for lack of moral and justice

When the truth is not told to the world and everyone are victims of liars. I'm not just talking about lies you tell yourself, or your friends, but lies by big media. The birth of media was to spread news faster so people may benefit from the knowledge. When has it became a tool to hurt people with lies? Where is the moral of our media today?

oh thanksgiving....

so relaxing, its like spending a week in procrastination land. Caught up with sleep. Watched good eats and rewatched some Doctor Who. Weee. And we went to peek at the Macy's Parade. yah, Peek, because there were so many people that if you let go a handful of sand it won't find it's way to the ground. aka. its crowded.

As I said I slept alot this break. Something I never understand. The older people always advice us to take care of our young body and sleep enough, don't over work. But then we got school work to do, and activities. so on average college kids get 6-8 hours, if lucky. Mis-communication between generation. Any how, I'm talking about sleep because I made 2 weird dreams this week. I can kind of sum up the dreams with this song.

As for the details, well since dreams never make sense when you wake up, I must reconstruct the plot before releasing. maybe you can wait for a short novel and a short film that I will write one day, or else it's confidential to public for now. more like another a long while.

If not, happy post-post-thanksgiving. Be thankful as always.

JoePa lost all his recognition for his 61 years of achievements.

So we are shaken up and needed to change. Either we want it or not. It's sad, its not agreeing with our hearts. The question is being ask: why do we have to change?

"Every blessing comes with a set of curses" - Vice Verse by Switchfoot

It hurts to change, and does change brings good? We all hope it will, but we all make mistakes.

Does this event going to be mark as a good thing to penn state when we look back 10 years later? I pray that it will, that from here on we remember abuse exist thought its not said out loud, and that we as Penn Staters will choose to act upon the injustice toward the victims. I pray that it will do even more than that too. Maybe we can go back to the old virtue or Old Main celebrated when the school was found, and the revival like one of the the 70's.

friends, I love my penn state, and in time like this, what we need to do is rise above the emotions and focus on the victims.

Seriously, this is a shame to see on ALL of our nationwide newspaper front page. This sandusky case is about Sandusky sex abuse over 9 then children. I don't even understand how Joepa got into this, Spanier is not directly in it (but both sure to be guilty of not taking it far enough back then). To end their career in Penn State like this, is not right. I know I'm not going to like the paper tomorrow. Bed time. Test tmr.

Who to blame? or should we say, Who to forgive?

"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and... bad things. The good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant. " - 11th Doctor, Vincent and the Doctor

Nuttiness in "Happy" Valley. Use our noodles and critical minds to identify who is the true victims here #Sandusky case.

The kids are, not JoePa.

What about Sandusky and Gary Schultz, and Gram Spanier? We need justice, but not hatred. We need to address the crime first, but we have not done that in public for the last couple days.

It is shocking to hear about all the news, and improper rally about the wrong subject.

And more shocking to me is that how one act of evil is going to bring down your reputation of good-doers forever, just as what happen to Michael Jackson. I know its hard to not hate the evil doers, but I know if my core believes in Jesus, I will forgive what Sandusky and Schultz have done, and move on to help the victims, those 8 children, because they deserved to be help.

The gospel, is centered around Jesus and his forgiving heart, not work or orthodox. I know we are upset and we need to find hope, so please look at the true face of hope, the one that can let go of hatred and pain, not the hope that centers on punishment.

"Words, the most powerful weapon in the universe." -- Tenth Doctor, Silence of the Library

when there is so many hurtings around you and your lungs feel sick from this air, God is still in control. He will heal and mend all hearts.

dance meet grace

have you ever feel so satisfy about your wholesome and healthy body after a workout? This is what a dancer feel after every practice. But dancing is more, it is an express outlet, it is singing with body language. It can become a passion for life, and I'm speaking for myself, and many who dance technically. (technical dance includes all styles of dance, from hip hop to ballet, ballroom to belly-dance. My definition for it is any style of dance requires one to learn steps and learn it well)

This passion is not something easy to give up, it is a love for dance and it will linger on you, effect every area of your life. I found myself day dreaming about dance combination in class/sermons many times (more than I should.... ). You see? Dancing is an expression of movement something more than just physical action. It gives you something to think of, dream of, even hope of. Hope to be better at turning leaps, or become the next star on stage. Putting your hope in dance, is basically risking your life because there is never a prediction when you will get injured, or worse, aging day by day till you can no longer have the strength for big complicated steps. I know this may seems like the best thing you have now, because dance is the happiest thing in life, and nothing else compares with this hope. But this hope will dies and pop your hope balloon, when you get an injuries, or aging bones forbid you to do a decent penchée or head spins. Your ego and life goes away with it. Now what's next?

You can hold on to the past joyful dances you've done, or choose to forget it. Even better, make dance a hobby, just like many other hobbies you have. But really, have we ever let our passion down? Either way your past will come back to remind you that it was better, happier. Balancing between less (dance) and more (of other stuff); compromise with the future plan while lingering in the past, feeling like uncommitted. Two weeks ago I went to a dance show where in it a piece is called "Uncommitted", choreographed by the modern dance giant Paul Taylor. Through dance movement, he shows us that uncommitted relationship brings loneliness, warfare, unsatisfactory productivity, restlessness and more on both sides. Not only a powerful piece, but also a powerful reminder that we must live each day fully committed. Don't you see? lingering in between is not a solution in life, it is only the step before the wake up call.

What should this wake up call be? something that tears your dream down again? or what if it is forgiveness? Truly letting go of the past because of a love that loves you in your weakest position anyway.

Forgiveness, none like other action/concepts on this earth, it is a joy from being release and found freedom. Especially the forgiving grace from Jesus, it is always there when you need it. Actually he is where this selfish act came from. No one ever wanted to sacrifice themselves for what they did, they used animals! But Jesus came and died for us so we can be forgiven. You are truly and forever forgiving and loved. Now you dance again, as a hobby, only this time you know it is not the happiest thing you have. Your happiest thing, is to found freedom above injuries and aging bones in Christ, your true home.

Let everyone knows the happiest thing ever is when Christ brings you freedom, brings you home.

2/3rd is gone!!!

winter hits us in bumpkin town (state college). With snow on the ground and less than 4 weeks of classes, its the summit for projects, studying and shows preparation.

Boy, have I gotten myself one insane schedule. It's wonderful to be activity in every area I wish and need to be at, but too much work drags my attention away from the most important purpose in life. I'm depress about how limited is my brain capacity.... it gets tired easily and can't fully comprehend everything my professors are throwing at me. It's gotten to some expanse that my brain was a puddle of pudding. I tried to balance out the puddingness with dance, and sometimes it works, my choreograph for a dance performance piece is finished! Happy about that, and it sure is satisfying, and full of hoping they can continue to dance well until the day they perform in front of the audience.

But above all, these are all superficial needs compare to my soul's need. What it really whats is rest, and some quality time alone, with God.

God is love

Pastor Dan used the word "God" to sub in every "love" in 1 Corinthian 13:4-8, and I wonder will that give the same affect with this song.

Left: lyrics for the song; Right = after subs

Love is not proud Love does not boast Love after all Matters the most Love does not run Love does not hide Love does not keep Locked inside Love is the river that flows through Love never fails you Love will sustain Love will provide Love will not cease At the end of time Love will protect Love always hopes Love still believes When you don't Love is the arms that are holding you Love never fails you When my heart won't make a sound When I can't turn back around When the sky is falling down Nothing is greater than this Greater than this Love is right here Love is alive Love is the way The truth the life Love is the river than flows through Love is the arms that are holding you Love is the place you will fly to Love never fails you

God is not proud God does not boast God after all Matters the most God does not run God does not hide God does not keep Locked inside God is the river that flows through God never fails you God will sustain God will provide God will not cease At the end of time God will protect God always hopes God still believes When you don't God is the arms that are holding you God never fails you When my heart won't make a sound When I can't turn back around When the sky is falling down Nothing is greater than this Greater than this God is right here God is alive God is the way The truth the life God is the river than flows through God is the arms that are holding you God is the place you will fly to God never fails you

Doesn't the right side makes a lot of sense? Even more sense than just love. Cz even love can fade away, but God himself is never changing and always love. I like the right side better.

"Don't run. Now I know you're scared. But never run when you're scared." -- The Eleventh Doctor, Doctor Who

ridiculous college food cravings

As the title suggested, this is a post dedicate to some of my favorite food on campus. or just a craving during long-college day. From this you may observe my somewhat unhealthy college diet. Surprising I'm not gaining weight. yet. Hope never.
Anyway, if you miss the food in college, be jealous. If you have any college food creation, share it with me!!! I would love to add your ideas to the list.

1. parmesan foot long (or hoogie) with forest ham, scramble eggs, mozzarella cheese, toasted. Top with fresh onions, oregano, salt, pepper and lettuce.

2. pan seared banana in rum sauce, sandwiched in a nutella (and peanut butter) Panini.
No they actually don't serve the pan seared banana in rum sauce, but they do serve bananas.

3. apple cider donuts, no they don't serve this at school

4. cheesesteak in a wrap, don't forget the cucumbers.

5. chicken finger n' fries, with buffalo sauce (ranch and hot sauce).

6. Chinese dumplings. like Chinese meat filling version of perogies. No they don't have this either.

7. sausage, egg and cheese in Biscuit

8. waffle with ice-cream n' chocolate sauce

9. cookie ice-cream sandwich, or hard n' soft served cone topped with a cookie, or Reece n' Oreo n' chocolate sauce sundae

10. homecooked Indian food

11. chicken finger on sourdough, with honey mustard and chipotle mayo, top with onions and lettuce and tomato.

12. acorns (that is when squirrel mode is activated)

13. crepe, that is if you like the favor of the day

14. giant cereal bar that totally should be on display in studio (studio is where the architecture design work done at. When the word architecture is involved, it normally means too many hours of work already, and occasional all-nighters)

15. strawberry and pineapple smoothie after working out

16. espresso shake (that's right, milk shake made out of 2 shoots of espresso) for stressed-out-lack-o-sleep engineering students.

17. This is imaginary. Grill-cheese burger. aka using grill-cheese (sandwich) instead of a bun for hamburger.

18. sushi occasionally. sushi roll with tuna.

19. Ceasar chicken salad in flat bread.

It's September, so the weather shifts from warm late summer burn to late autumn breeze in one sun rise. Yes, shorts are going away. Goodbye. Hello sweatpants and body-armers.

It is nearly 8 months since the last time I updated? I don't know, but I hope you survived Irene safely. There was some stormy rain at my school, thou nothing strong.
School started last monday for me. So its been a little over a week since I started, and its getting busy. I have 3or 4 quizzes in the next 3 days. It's all for a good cause though. I'd much rather to be busy with studying than to hang around doing meaningless boring stuff. Now that I am more situated to school again, I would like to tell you what I think this year will be like to me.

Nothing seems overwhelming this year, it is more of getting back to a schedule I forgotten for 3 months, and getting to know a friend as my roommate. It is a pleasant challenge, living with a friend. In the past I’ve only room with “strangers”, people I didn’t know until we moved in, except this year I have the pleasure to choose a friend as my roommate. I valued this opportunity. It seems that this will be a good way to prep me for the future. So far, I’m enjoying it, the difference of personality in this room makes it alive. Sometimes the difference have me to question about who I am, who she is, other times it is a blessing. Thankfully the latter describe majority of our time together so far.

There is something in this year that I know is different from previous years, and it will affect who I am becoming down the line. To make it simpler, this year it’s a leap year for my spiritual growth. Ever since God led me into Architectural Engineering, its has been a serial experience. I could never get into this major on my own, but somehow I had. For this, I am super grateful, probably being truly grateful the first time in my life. As I take classes according to my adviser, I realize this is the best path, career for me, even better than architecture, what I once thought was what I meant to study.

This year classes will get much more in-depth than it has been, harder, even more challenging and interesting. God seems to be asking me what I can do with this degree for Him. He seems to want me to be more faithful, and more to Him is year. To get to know who He is even more, and be a better daughter and servant to Him this year. With that in mind, I have to balance school work, out-side-of-class-activities and make those fit into my church life schedule, not the other way around, especially for dance. I love dancing and its one of my major stress outlet. God is saying I should not be as involve with dance so that I can do more for/with Him thou. It is something new, I am happy to be change that way. It is still not easy to give up, especially at club fair. So please pray for my decision and time management.

That is for now. The text font is off, I hope that won't bother anyone. It is bothering me a little. haha.

This weekend I'm going to visit Pittsburgh! If you will be there, text me and maybe we can hang out! If not, enjoy the long weekend with friends and family!

Shalom (peace off, only better),

Faye

side note: Doctor Who season 6 part 2 is airing this saturday....... yay

Dear friends,

Thank you for praying and supporting me for the spring break mission trip!! It was a wonderful time diving in a city that God is making it better. As a group of college students from three schools, we did many city serve projects throughout the week, and got to fellowship together 24/7. It was a week out of our normal schedule, and it shaken us so that we can grow closer to Him by serving, not taking, even after the week. I am so glad you partner with me, without your support, I wouldn’t have the chance to experience 2011 spring in the way I had. So thank you, your support meant a lot to me.

I want to tell your more about what we did in Phily for the week. Keep reading! It’s good stuff that I learn from the trip, and maybe you will find it to be good wonders too.

We are a team of 50 college students from Penn State (university park), Temple, and University of Pennsylvania, many of us did not know each other before the Sunday of March 6. Then a week later, we became good friends, and it is special kind of friends. We aren’t just another brother/sister by the name of Jesus, but we actually know how they look like, what they like, and what talent/gift they have. I didn’t know most of the team members from Penn State before I go, and now I run into them on campus oftenly. They were probably strangers to me before March 3^rd, but now they are my dear friends. Isn’t that amazing? In a week, I made 49 friends who I will always want to get coffee with. Well, 35 of them, the other 15 of them will get their chance when I’m in Phily again (they don’t go to Penn State, so I can’t get coffee with them when I’m in Penn State)

Our team lived in a church called Summerfield in Fishtown, Philadelphia for the entire week. (and yes, there are fish sculpture everywhere in the town) It’s a town next to a couple not so safe towns of Phily. That was the goal of the week, to serve at places that need a touch of healing. We attempt to meet this goal by serving in city projects. Most of these projects require labor work, like cleaning up a lot filled with trash, and some are working with children.

What does cleaning a lot help to further God’s kingdom? It is most likely new trash will build up again anyway. Well, there isn’t a perfect answer for this question, but the smile on people faces when they see the lot is clean paid off the work. Maybe by cleaning the lot we have implanted hope in people’s life, or maybe we help them to keep dreaming with the vision that they can yet achieve now… there can be many possibilities, we are not sure what our work can produce, but we saw what work like the one we did can do, as we heard stories, or more like testimonies of people who benefits from the work like one we did. There was a church we partner with on Friday called Victory Outreach, where we cleaned two lots in the neighborhood both a block away from the church. The pastor there sees the lots are use for drug traffic activity at night. They are dirty, abandon, and no one cares about them. By cleaning them up, he hopes this can give the neighbors another perspective about the place they live in. If someone cares about you, maybe there is hope. Actually, the pastor used to use drug 14 years ago, but when Victory Outreach reached out to him, he found new hope for his life, and he lives a different life from then. He said if it weren’t of that night when victory invited him to live in a safe house, he would’ve not found Christ. He said he would have died on the street from what he was doing to himself. This is a story of many drug user, and its urgent to reach out when they need the help. What Victory also does is they go on the street at night when it’s the busiest hours for drug traffic, like they did 14 years ago. We were invited to join this ministry for one night, so we went, and try to show some love to a group we would not approach normally if we weren’t loved by Jesus.

So we were out that night to pray with the people passed by, and give a new chance to someone who wants to go to a safe house. If someone cares and reaches out to you, they are the people who want you to know you are beloved and you can have hope in your life today, and tomorrow, and the day after, and for the rest of your life. That night there were a few people who went to the safe house. And even if there weren’t any, the power of praying with and for a stranger makes a big big BIG difference to them. No really, some of the stories I heard that night, if our prayer is a seed for the love from heaven to grow in them, it’s worth standing in the cold for one night. That night was something amazing.

This trip definitely taught me to engage more in serving people in small things like cleaning up or talking with someone, or praying for someone.

Well, then I got sick for the last day of the trip. *Woobwoob* Germs aren’t too forgiving. I’m ok now!!! and I discovered the wonders of CVS medicine row. Oh yes.

Ok I’m done writing and you can be done with reading this looooooooooong email in a few seconds. You are definitely welcome to email me back to tell me anything you want. Really. You don’t have to thou.

It’s wonderful to have you supporting me all this time! Thanks for reading!!!

And enjoy the beginning of spring season.

Shalom (peace out, but even better),

Faye

Start with something good

This week begun with this following statement: Gotta love life!! Because the good things you’d thought won’t happened will come to you at the moment you least expected them yet needed the most. This is a true statement I declare from my heart and I can see it being a statement made by the spirit too. It’s a beautiful thing. It is, to see a blessed future is unfolding for you, a no-body among the world population. Some of the things that make me so grateful are the following,

1. The counselors at the youth ministry back at home church (BCEC, Boston) are getting married this weekend!!!!
2. I had the first chill out weekend for the first time in two months.
3. My friend who will be graduating in May has finally got job offered to him, and it’s not just one good job offer, but too many that he has to turn down some of them. All the offers happened in the last two weeks.
4. Getting the plan for my own summer. I have a good feeling about it, despite its going to be a different experience and probably be out of my comfort zone again (I will probably not be living with my parents.)
5. We passed out free hot dogs to party students last Friday, and oh boy it was amazing. Can’t believe it. What’s even more surprising is that people who got a dog remembered we were giving out free hot dogs.
6. I can’t believe I got a very good grade in my physics exam.
7. oh there are so much more I can go on, but you get the point.

All of these things are things that I’m fortunate to witness/be blessed by. Maybe it’s not a common fashion to count our blessings, I don’t normally realize the blessing God gave me until its too late to give thanks. When they are showering down because Jesus says “Look, I love you and I know you are going to be running around too busy to notice my love, so I’m gonna have other people to show you how much I love you. Now pay attention to me.” And its such an amazing grace. This is why I know life is good, not because I got good grades or done good, but because the King of the universe decides to bless me, and you, and them (with a hot dog).

great voice.... love it!!!

there's dancing in heaven?

Lately our church talks a lot about dreaming for heaven and if that is really the place we will be at where it is a place even better than we dream of. This topic was a big theme in elements tonight as well.

We talked about how we are used to define heaven being a place that is boring (singing with a harp all day long all the time….) although it isn’t a place like this. Heaven is so wonderful, maybe it will be where there won’t be sickness, awkward relationships, sadness and such, though for sure it will be a place comes down from heaven to Earth, and everything is new and so amazing, and everything is better than we’ve ever dreamed of. If that place is exciting for us, than how would that change the way you live NOW because NOW that you know that the privilege to enjoy heaven probably matters more than the pain you are going through right NOW.

We then broke into little groups and continue dream about what we imagine heaven can be.

To me, it will be a place where I can dance freely and everyone can dance, no one will judge dancers, or dancers will love each other. I say that because dancing matters to me, just like how living the gospel in my life matters to me. I’ve been dancing my whole life, and I’ve experience the joy from dancing, the freedom in moving so fast that I can hear the cells are breathing with me too, and I can feel I’m getting stronger physically when I dance. For that I’m glad. But for some one who doesn’t dance, maybe that’s you, how is watching other dancing like that appeal to you? Lets not think about party dancing for a second, what do you think about people dancing ballet, modern, tap, hip hop, Chinese dance, Indian dance etc.? Some of the feedbacks from my friends are like “what the hack you are doing?” because the movements a dancer make is so unusual, and that can be upsetting sometimes. Honestly if you try to dance once in your life and discover the freedom I’ve described, maybe you will understand the beauty of dancing. Maybe in heaven, people can learn to dance and dance with freedom just like they wished when they were a little kid.

(side note, dancing in heaven will also be even better when injury from dancing doesn’t exist. Everyone can dance because no one have to worry about twisting ankles or pulling muscles or being sore… that would be great. )

Some form of dancing, like party dancing, has taken dancing to somewhere far from producing joy. Probably you’ve seen some of these moves in parties, or know some of them. All that I know of is girls/guys do moves like that because they want attention, so they can get what they desire. This fact can break your heart if you are a Christian. It certainly breaks mind. They dance like that because they want something, something to fill some hole in them. That hole will be empty again as soon as you get what you thought you wanted the most. You might know what I’m talking about too. Have you ever feel you can never get enough of something and just need more and more of it and still not satisfied? That hole is meant to be for something internal, something that is bigger than you are, something spiritual and Godly. So next time if you see a party dancer, don’t judge, because the truth is inside them, they are missing something but they don’t really know where to get it. Even I have to remind myself this from time to time.

Another thing also related what I’ve seen in dance world is what dancers do to each other. It is in most dancing community, the talking behind your back thing; Talks about how she is so sassy and so annoying, or that she has an attitude and I can’t stand her, or that why would she thinks she is so much better than me? Stuff like that. Do these sounds familiar to you? At least it sounds too familiar to me.

Oh what can I say, dancers are performers, it is true. Performing is not necessary a bad thing if the performance comes from the love of something but yourself. Okay let me try to explain with an example… Like when I’m dancing I enjoy a presence of dancing, because it allows me to feel free, and when I feel that I am naturally performing, but not for the sake of myself. Ahh ya, that’s the best I can do… it’s hard to understand it if you have yet enjoy the fun of dancing. Anyway, performance flows from losing yourself in dancing is not bad at all. Actually if you have lost yourself in dancing, it doesn’t matter if there is no one, or a thousands people watching you, so the performance you put up don’t even matter to you.

But then, if you perform in dancing because of other reason… like to think you are better than others. Performance like this always tries to show others “I am perfect and I am flawless”. People get annoyed of people like that because we all know no one is perfect. For dancers, we try to act perfect because if not, we can’t be sure people will like our dancing, and that is quite unacceptable for dancers. You want people to like your dancing yet you are afraid you might lose your audience and be let down because of it. That’s why we perform so hard and act like we are perfect. But what if it doesn’t have to be this way?

What does the creator of human and all of the goodness says about what He thinks? He would say “Child, I love you and you know I do. You don’t have to be afraid to be let down because no matter who you are I will still love you any way. Yes I will still love you.” Jesus loves a person for who she/he is, He doesn’t love because of what she/he can do, He just loves. No matter what happens.

If dancing will happens in heaven, no one will ever have to try acting a performance, and among dancers there won’t be insecurity within because the fear of not being love doesn’t exist in heaven. Oh if the dance world can be like that dancing will be even better and joyous. I don’t have to hear about talking behind someone’s back again, and I don’t have to worry others being upset because they can’t dance well enough, and I don’t have to worry about being judge to others…. It would be so cool.

Dancing can be so good. I imagine there will be dancing in heaven, if the Bible mentioned dancing being an act of rejoicing for good, like in 1 Samuel when they were singing in their dances for David. I imagine dancing is a good thing. And I’m gonna say, you might want to seriously consider learning dance if you don’t understand what I said… you will learn a lot of new things from learning to dance, and maybe you will see dancers with a different eye.

monday, but i like you today

Hello everyone, It's been too long since the last update I guess.... indicating my life style is just not before.... I used to do this every week, but that was when sharing my passion is not something I do too often, and now I live with passion everyday. Sound too noble, hahahaha. Ya, it's a philosophy, and it's not a lie or just an idea either.

Anyway... brief summary of what the hack have been eating my time away. Being in main campus is very fun, but at the same time it also mean a more demanding academic schedule, especially when your major needs you to take 16 credits at least each semester in order to finish your degree in 5 years... beside class and studying, I spend time in dancing, around 3 hours per week, and small group stuff. Sunday I go to church, that does take a lot of useful time away, and saturday I would sit on my bed(with my computer) wasting a lot of useful time away by calling it resting. Other than these and necessarily daily activities, I get some sleep each night. (This must be one of the most boring paragraph you've read in a long time)

I don't know how, I just listen to so much musical music lately... and I hardly know any pop songs, which is so un-college and anti-social in a way... but hey, people who don't understand musicals is because they have not experience the wonderfulness it yet. I know some songs and plays are far from rated-13, some are rated-no kids should ever watch/listen to this, and its a type of music that is so obnoxious you may say, but no other type of music can carry a story, host a character, bringing unexpected history reference within the story its telling better than showtones. My few favorite tones are: Try To Remember from Fantastiks (love that show), Children Will Listen from Into The Woods (my first anticipation in a musical production ever, which was great), Seasons of Love from Rent (classic 90's, you can't beat it, and I'm born in that era), Mama who Bored me Reprise version from Spring Awakening, and other great shows like Ragtimes, Grey Gardens, Lion King etc. This is a form of stage art that is more popular than dance already.

I've been dancing since a kid, and I don't know how do I function day to day without thinking about dancing. It is mental, yes, but very therapeutic to me. A dance sequence does not have to be like a story, doesn't have to have great meaning or deep philosophy hidden. What it is is a celebration of your movement and your sweat, and a sense of liberation. Beside that there is not much other words you can use to describe dance as a whole. Now each form of dancing is more adaptive and easy to learn than others, like hip hop is very urban, but modern is very abstract, ballet is... well from what my male friend told me a week ago, very un-interesting. (why the hack...) JUST REMEMBER DANCING IS UNISEX PLEASE!!!!!!!!!! Dancing is not just a female thing, man with a beard can do ballroom or comtempory jazz, or tap etc. etc. Gezzz, it is not gay for guys to dance. And for any future boyfriend/fiance of mine, you know that you will never be able to date me or even know me if you don't dance, and this is very true to many girls who dance.
Anyway, the major reason of bringing up dance is, I went to watch a show for my dance class and it was insanely inspiring. It was the Merce Cunningham Master Tour show, which is the last tour this dance company will ever do, after this tour is over the Merce Cunningham dance Company will cease to exist. Cunningham is the master and legend for modern dance since the 50's. He knew how dancers would like to be challenge as a dancer and he knew what the dancer can provide to the movement of flow. That was what the show was all about. Very talented dancers dancing positions harder than bare-back horse riding, or tackling a football. There was no music basically for the 1:30 hour long dance show, yet the show was cool and inspiring to watch, because you would have never thought movements can be piece together like that. It was a great show that it is sad to know this is their final tour. One of the dancers was a 69 year old man, he is the director and he can barely do some of the moves..... you know he is respected, but you don't know why. Had I not talk to people afterward I wouldn't know he's been dancing with the founder of the company who just died in 2009 since his 20's. Almost 50 years of dance memory was expressed... even he is 69. See, dancing doesn't have a limit, not until you give up.

This weekend I'll be away!!!! Going to Jubilee 2011 in Pittsburgh. It's going to be a great time.