Life and Family

Finally have a couple of down time for me time. Tomorrow the maarathon will continue. This AE major, is not easy. And I still haven't start my assignment for my minor class. whoops.

(and when I mean down time, it means doing homework while watchting TV/listening to music. With tons of snacks and ice-cream, of course.)

This me time let me to have some time thinking about family. friends who are my friends, and my family. For any one who knows my family, me and my parents immigrate to U.S., hoping maybe our relatives in the state can become closer than when we were on the other side of the planet. But what's broken in the childhood is too hard to fix after 30-40 years of independance . The tension made years before only deepens when the relationships rebirth. Bitterness returns. It is not easy to share lives together again. Differences in our lives drove my family away from me. Call it generation gap, or whatever, but putting the old-schooled with the youngsters or the liberals, cold war will be on its way.

Maybe the good things of traditional family values have diminished in my family. Traditional culture recalls spending time together, every other week, is a must. Where I grew up as a child, busy corporate lifestyle took time away from my parents and my extended family member. Among their own families, jobs, hobbies, and stuff, union with blood family is simply limited to holidays, at the dinner table. Social is a bonus.

My mom thought its important for all of us to spend unity time outside of the dinning room, so she organized one or two family trips to the zoo. All of us were there. Those two days, taught me who's my uncle more than all the meals we had together. I got to see my grandpa smile, which is a rare thing. Family time, has kingdom values.

I guess we can't have it all while we are still on this earth. I would like to know my family is build with support from our blood family, but that's not the case. I admit my childhood was a good one, thou I also know the 3 of us are quite isolated from our blood family. I never missed it until I see my friends sob over the death of their grandparents/aunt/cousins. And I can never understand how to love someone as my siblings. I suppose I envy those who know siblings rivalry.

How will I learn to love someone not like me? If our difference drove my family away, how do I learn to love those who are not like me? As my strength is not caring or loving. I suppose my strength in connectedness, analytically, restorative, activator, command (strength finder test) is important for this finding family journey, but I don't know how for the moment.